Thursday, April 2, 2009
Rule #192- Leave Your Vanity in the Parking Lot
On this particular day Evie Jane had a rough morning, in which she followed none of her normal patterns. There had not been a nap of any kind and she was in a "I'm only happy if you hold me" mood. Unfortunately, we were down to less than bare bones in our pantry and frig, and a trip to the grocery could not be put off. I remember glancing in the mirror before we left and noting the lack of make-up and the need to at least redo the pony tail leftover from last night's sleep. But somehow those observations were lost in the morning activities and I arrived at the store in pretty much the same condition as when I woke up that morning. I did manage to change my pajamas for an outfit I thought I could pass off as "I've just been to the gym, otherwise I would look perfect" look.
After my shopping was complete, I exited the store with a massive amount of bags and a very tired (a.k.a. screaming) daughter. As I unloaded child and bags into the car I noticed a very attractive lady staring at me. She had actually stopped in the middle of driving lane to watch me. I glanced at her tentatively, thinking that maybe we had worked together when I taught at the community college last year. She took a step forward and said hello. I squinted for a better look and said hello back, now certain that I didn't know her. She began to pull a card from her purse and approached me more closely, "Here honey," she said with that overly drawn out sweetness that feels patronizing, "Let me give you my card." I looked down to see Mary Kay Consultant in cheerful pink letters. "Oh, thanks" I mumbled as my cheeks flamed. I could tell she was picturing huge before and after photos and accepting an award for most cosmetics sold to one person. "Have you ever tried our products?" she smiled politely and I could see her mentally adding "or any make-up from any store." I laughed self-consciously and stammered, "Yes, I know it doesn't look like it today, but I have used Mary Kay before." Again, she smiled as sweetly as she could. "Well, I just think all new mothers could use a little extra pampering, don't you?" I smiled back, thinking that it was nice of her to say "extra" as though she thought I took at least basic care of my appearance. I took the card and promised to give her a call before dashing to the humiliation-free interior of my car.
As I drove home I had to glance at myself in the mirror and laugh. If I had been that Mary Kay sales lady, I would have done the same thing.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Rule #406: Respect Man's Weekend
Andrew and some of his buddies from college get together for “Man’s Weekend” every March. It is one of major highlights of Andrew’s year. While I’m always sad to be without him for the weekend, I’ve come to have my own routine during “Man’s Weekend” that I look forward to each year. So while Andrew is off measuring the length of his beard and talking sports this is what I’ll be up to . . .
Friday Evening: I have dinner with some girl friends I haven’t seen in a while. We eat some kind of Italian dish, maybe even one without meat, and sip something refreshing like sparkling apple cider or white wine. After dinner we watch a movie. This year it will probably be
Saturday Morning: I’m up early. I’ve been thinking about this day for months. I’ve planned my route of shopping very carefully. There is a mix of my favorite clothing stores and places I like to shop for the house. I have specific items I want to look at in some stores, and in others I just wander around in what some might call an “aimless” way. I don’t feel any pressure to leave a store before I’ve seen everything inside. If I stay in one store longer than I thought it’s ok, there isn’t anyone reminding me of kick-offs, tip-offs, or tee-offs that I have to get home to.
Saturday Afternoon: I’ve had a fruit and cheese plate for lunch and now I’m ready to organize! Back home with my packages, I attack the bedroom closet. This is my one chance to get at Andrew’s T-shirt collection. Now that we’ve been married for four years I can safely toss a few shirts that I’ve never seen him wear. I know not to touch anything with Headhunters or TTU on it, but the accumulated camp t-shirts and random restaurant T’s are starting to thin out. If I feel crazy I might even get rid of a hooddie. I fold everything neatly on shelves or in drawers. There is a small temptation to take a picture, just so I can remember this moment in two weeks when everything is out of place again, but I squelch it in favor of living in the now.
Saturday Evening: I stay at home. Tonight is about ice cream, ill fitting PJ’s, fluffy socks, and my hair in a very messy pony tail. I paint my toe nails, listen to Celine without any mocking, and watch another romantic comedy. I fall asleep in the middle of the bed with a Christian novel clutched in my hand.
Sunday Morning: Church is over and I’m starting to feel a bit restless. I might even turn ESPN on just to feel normal. I look at my perfectly clean house and wonder what isn’t right. I start to check the clock regularly and the novel in my hand begins to loose its appeal. When I hear the garage door open I jump to my feet and realize that I’m more excited now than I have been all weekend!